The Hammers rolled out the claret and blue carpet for our old nemesis Romelu Lukaku to notch his first league goal for Man Utd.

Then it was the traditional capitulation to mark a truly miserable start to the campaign.

I’d even decided not to put Lukaku in my dream team to make it a double blow.

Mourinho seems to be working his magic at Man Utd and they will be there or thereabouts come the end of the season.

As for West Ham? Well there will be easier afternoons and our target is to make the top ten.

There’s not a lot to choose between the sides once you look past the top six and Everton.

So a lot of teams will be alternating between glancing nervously down or excitedly up the table on a fairly regular basis.

One side who do look out of sorts are Crystal Palace. You don’t get much time in the Premier League to adopt a whole new football philosophy.

They face Liverpool at Anfield this weekend so things aren’t going to get easier anytime soon.

Sky Sports bosses must have been punching the air during the opening weekend as goals rained in from everywhere.

The Premier League is many things but Serie A it ‘aint.

Defending has been a dying art in this country for a while but it looks like the last rites are finally here.

Luckily Alan Hansen is no longer in the Match of the Day studio or he might have exploded.

It’s almost becoming like basketball with teams looking like they’ll score every time they go up the pitch.

Sure it’s exciting but I’d still like to see the odd tackle or proper marking from set pieces to make forwards work for their goals.

The 93rd minute Watford equaliser against Liverpool which sunk our treble last week was a case in point. But I can’t even talk about that one without going into a Hansen-esque rage.

So where to make money this weekend?

Burnley are tough to beat at home and look overpriced at 7/5 to get the better of West Brom.

I also like the look of Leicester to beat Brighton and Bournemouth to beat Watford so let’s go for the home win treble which pays a tasty looking 7/1.

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Running total of all bets to a £10 stake for 2017/18 season: £-10.00