An invite to buy tickets for the “End of Season Gala Dinner” was staring out from my inbox offering me the chance to “rub shoulders with my heroes.”

Now, putting aside the fact that most of my heroes are dead or have long since left West Ham, what exactly are we supposed to be celebrating at this gala dinner for “only” £150 a head?

The entire first-team will be there apparently. Which will make a nice change for them all to actually turn-up at the same time.

But it could be a fun night if they all revert to type during the shindig at Grosvenor House next week.

No doubt poor Scott Parker will have to cook the meal, serve it and wash-up for all his team mates as they kick back and relax.

And we can all marvel as Carlton Cole gets the fork tantalisingly close before missing his mouth completely.

Perhaps Radoslav Kovac could don a waiter’s tunic to loud complaints of slow service as he misplaces plates all over the dining room.

Kieron Dyer would obviously get injured going through the revolving doors while Benni McCarthy will certainly keep the chef busy.

And overseeing all this jollity? Well none other than Avram Grant – truly the spectre at the feast.

But enough fantasising about claret and blue capers – who’s looking worth a bet this weekend?

Well all eyes will be on Wembley for the FA Cup Final and I can see Man City and Stoke both giving it a go so let’s back goals.

Perhaps I’m just being nostalgic for the days of onboard coach cameras and Shoot posters in supporters’ windows, but I suspect the cup means a lot to both these sides.

Man City are desperate to actually win something after all that spending while Stoke might not have a better chance for silverware for decades.

The Potters are also in fine form while city will welcome back talisman Carlos Tevez.

Paddy Power is offering 5/2 for their being over 3.5 goals in the final and that’s a price that’s tempting.

Here’s to a decent final and perhaps any winnings will pay for one of those coveted West Ham tickets.

Running Total for all bets to a £10 stake: £ -88.00

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